Okay, I'm going to start this entry with a disclaimer: what I'm about to talk about is not something that I believe is exhaustive or in any way comprehensive, but a reflection on personal experiences over my short time of being on this planet and identifying as a Black American woman.
With that out of the way...
I have a hard time reconciling my feelings on the idea of interracial. This is influenced in a lot of ways, with the strongest influence being the nation I was raised in. America's decree of the "One Drop Rule" was introduced to me at a young age by my grandmother who was born in 1918. She told me that if a person has any bit of Black in them, they were Black. This includes people who may "pass" as white. Someone can be 1/32 Black, but there are still people in Black America who will label that person as Black. I understand why someone who is biracial or multiracial would want to avoid using this rule: it necessarily negates some part of their genetic makeup and part of their heritage. As I grew up, I have met a lot of people with mixed ancestry, and a lot of people who would be considered Black under America, and my grandmother's, definition, but would prefer to play up their "blackness" or "whiteness" when convenient.
For example, in high school, I received an award based on a standardized test that was given to people who denoted "Black" as their race when filling out the Scantron sheet. (sidenote: I also received an award from the same test when the entire pool of test-takers was considered, so we can throw out the affirmative action debate in this scenario.) My name, along with all the other Black women who received similar scores, were read of the PA system the morning that the school got the information. In my AP Government class, an "ambiguously raced" young woman said, within my earshot, "If I had put Black on the test, I would have gotten that award. It's not even that hard."
Gee...thanks? But, why would you want to label yourself for accolades only? You want to be Black when you can get a scholarship offer, but not when the affirmative action debate comes up? You want to be Black so you can ask for hair tips, but not when your White friends walk into the room? As I've been known to say: Everyone wants to be Black until the cops show up. However, Black is not a transient state...
See, it's "not even that hard" to mark "Black" when it's on a piece of paper, but to live "Black" every day isn't really a walk in the park for most people.
I don't want this to sound like a "woe-is-me" Black tirade about how being Black is always so difficult, because it's not always so difficult. Yet, by no means should anyone ever say that it is never hard. Especially when we turn to my other handicap: sex.
Uh-oh, I think I just heard some mouse clicks going to that "X" in the upper corner with that sentence. But don't run away, dearest reader, it's not going to be one of those entries either. You know the ones I'm talking about. No? You don't? Hmmm...how do I explain this?
It's not one of those "Black men ain't s***" or "Black men are all trifling" or "Black men are all dogs" posts. It's not one of those "White women are stealing all our men" or "why did he pick her" or "he's only with her because she's White" posts. It's definitely not one of those "successful Black women will never find husbands" posts. All that negativity is ugly and unhelpful. Besides, I have seen enough Black love to know that it's not the epidemic that the American media has made it out to be. I'm not downplaying the fact that successful Black women outnumber their male counterparts, but that's not the message I'm discussing today. No, reader, today I want to talk about the numbers game of interracial couples from the other side. What's going on with the representation of Black woman/White man couples?
I can only think of two movies where a Black woman/White man couple was central (Something New, Guess Who), and a handful of scenarios where it has come up (The Losers, Death at a Funeral, Storm and Wolverine in that alternate universe in X-Men, Halle Berry and her baby's daddy, well, Halle Berry and most of her movie roles (Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, Swordfish, and, lest we forget the Oscar winner, Monster's Ball), Naomi Campbell and her Russian lover who happens to still be married...). Now let's flip the script, and look at the Black man/White woman scenarios...actually, I'm not even going to type them all out, because I know that you've already surpassed the number of named occurrences above. I'm personally tired of seeing the majority of interracial relationships being represented in one way.
But, historically speaking, why am I surprised? In the older, uglier, years of the good ol' USA, White men were constantly talking about protecting the sanctity of White women while raping Black women. They felt that Black men would corrupt their women, and claimed that Black women were so sexual that engaging in sex acts with them was just satiating their ravenous nature. So for Black men, having a White woman can be seen as finally getting their hands in the cookie jar, while Black women are trying to recover from the negative images of ourselves being strewn around all across different media. Black men may have been dangerous, but Black women were little more than objects of sexual gratification. Add to this the fact that Black women were given the task to "keep the Black family together" while Black men were out fighting "the Man". We as Black women seem to be more infatuated with the idea of "Black love" than our Black brothers, even after the image of Black men choosing everything but us is repeatedly thrown in our faces.
Personally, I think love is love and is beautiful when shared between two people, regardless of color, but can we have some diversity in the presentations of interracial love. So, to all you rappers who want their Black women with big behinds, light skin, and long weaves; you casting agents who love pairing Black men with non-Black women without showing Black women the same consideration; and you White media outlets who fetishize Black women: stop. Because all you're doing is turning a word that could be one of the most inclusive into one of the most restrictive by normalizing one type of interracial relationship.
For all my interracial/multiracial people out there: when you say that you're not Black, remember that you aren't White/Asian/Hispanic/Latina either. I don't mean that bitterly, or want to insinuate that you must adhere to the one drop rule. On the contrary, I want you to wear all your cultures proudly and represent your uniqueness. I know that one culture may be the dominant one in the house, or that you may feel that you identify with one more than the other, and that's understandable; but it does not erase the other parts.
In the words of Shakespeare: "This above all, to thine own self be true".
All facets of thyself.
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