“Girl, you have good hair! What are you mixed with?”
Now, I love my interracial brothers and sisters, but why do people assume that (a) because my natural hair is curly, it is “good”, and (b) if hair is looser (3b/3c), I must be mixed? It seems like these reactions and assumptions are a throwback to the times when fair skin and looser textures of African-American hair were enough to guarantee more male attention as well as denote a purposeful line of marriages. Growing up, I heard stories from older relatives about families who would disown their children if they married someone with darker skin. I even heard one of my grandmother’s old friends tell her granddaughter not to bring any “nappy Black babies in this house”.
Why is race always included in the discussion, and what does this mean for different textures of hair? I recall a time when I was relaxed that I was told that I have “White people’s hair” and that was why it would straighten so easily. As a natural, I have had discussions about transitioning and how it was difficult to get accustomed to my newly natural hair, to which people would reply, “But your hair is so curly, how hard could it be?” As someone who BC’ed after being used to having relaxed hair that was taken care of by other people and having to learn how to take care of my hair like every other natural, I was hurt. To my sisters in the 4’s, let me be the first to admit that I know that most media outlets of the Western world wish to either fetishize your fro or box you out completely by telling you to relax. I will never say that I have experienced what you have, but I will say that I have always held a healthy dose of fro envy, especially when my hair began to fall from its weight. Your hair does something I wish mine could do on a daily basis…but I’m off topic.
To make matters in hair politics worse anyone who has watched a music video in the last decade or so can tell you that the archetypal “light-skinned girl with long hair” has not lost any of her clout amongst most rappers. It also doesn’t help that our fairer compatriots are often the ones with the most screen time in the media or seen as more appealing (Halle Berry, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Tyra Banks) while the browner women are either relaxed or forced to fit the “earthy, motherly” stereotype (First Lady Michelle Obama, Jill Scott, India Arie, Naomi Campbell). There is an evident lack of diversity, and this does nothing to ease the hair tension.
I know that transitioning from relaxed to natural does not mean that all of the years of hearing a specific standard of beauty being praised, we should be able to move past it. Complexion and hair type should not be the sole reasons for praising someone. Compliment me on avoiding single-strand knots or clearing up a blemish on my face, not because I happened to be born with a random assortment of genes. The lingering ideas about how hair “should” be helps fuel the fires of people who encourage naturals to relax, so why are we letting this talk get into the community where all textures and lengths should be embraced?
Personally, I embrace it all. Curly, coily, kinky, nappy, fro, blown out, twisted, locs, braided, banded, wash & go, finger coils, frizzy, fuzzy, TWA, BSL, APL, MBL, and all those other acronyms. Black, White, Latino/a, Hispanic, Asian, African, biracial, multiracial, and everything in between. Good hair is hair that is taken care of, not hair grown from a specifically raced scalp.
The real secret of good hair?
Love, and a good inner circle to back you up when you aren’t feeling the love.
Preach, boo!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete